Many executives who actively and effectively supervise their own subordinates assume a passive and reactive stance to their bosses. This almost always hurts them and their companies.
Worse, friction is often rationalized by the executive as a personality conflict between them and their boss. While some people are psychologically or temperamentally incapable of working together, often, we have found, a personality conflict is only a part of the problem, and sometimes a very small part.
Executives often have unrealistic assumptions and expectations about the nature of boss–subordinate relationships. They fail to recognize that this relationship involves mutual dependence between two fallible human beings.
They believe that their bosses are not dependent on them and fail to see how much the boss needs their help and cooperation to do their own job effectively. These don’t see that the boss can be severely hurt by their actions and needs cooperation, dependability, and honesty from them.
Other executives don’t see themselves as very dependent on their bosses. They gloss over how much help and information they need from the boss in order to perform their own jobs well. This superficial view is particularly damaging when a manager’s job and decisions affect other parts of the organization.
Further, many executives assume that their boss magically knows what information or help their subordinates need and provides it to them. Some bosses are excellent in this respect, but for an executive to expect that from all bosses is dangerously unrealistic. A more reasonable expectation is that modest help will be forthcoming.
Effective executives accept this fact and assume primary responsibility for their own careers and development. They make a point of seeking information and help they need to do a job rather than wait for their bosses to provide it.
Managing mutual dependence requires the following:
1. A good understanding of the other person and yourself, especially regarding strengths, weaknesses, work styles, and needs.
2. Use of this information to develop and manage a healthy working relationship that is compatible with both people’s work styles and strengths, and is characterized by mutual expectations that meet the most critical needs of the other person.
Many executives also mistakenly attribute their bosses’ actions to incompetence or malice. As we coach up and down organizations we get to see the real basis for decisions of an executive’s boss. They are often based on corporate objectives over which their subordinate has no visibility.
For example, a senior marketing manager was convinced her boss was willfully blocking an initiative that she’d devised and was passionate about. She was sure her boss didn’t like her. What we knew was that the boss was privy to the divestment of a business over which the initiative was planned. The divestment was completely confidential and couldn’t be socialized down the business. Further, the boss was our client’s greatest advocate and unbeknownst to her had actively campaigned for her last promotion, when other executives were hesitant.
The executive made four basic errors:
1. She took information supplied to her at face value,
2. She made assumptions in areas where she had no information,
3. She never actively tried to clarify what her boss’s objectives were, and
4. She didn’t consider that there might be factors at work that were bigger than her role.
Managers who work effectively with their bosses do not behave this way. Rather:
1. They seek out information about the boss’s goals and problems and pressures.
2. They are alert for opportunities to question the boss and others around to test their assumptions.
3. They pay attention to clues in the boss’s behavior.
4. They don’t scorn the boss due to their own (real or not) intellectual superiority.
5. They don’t assume that decisions and actions taken by the boss that affect them are confined to them. They try to look for the greater “why” in the decisions.
6. They don’t infer negative intent – or positive intent – in their boss’s decisions.
Managing your boss requires an understanding of the boss and his or her context, as well as your own situation. Most executives do this to a degree, but many are not thorough or thoughtful enough in analyzing this landscape.
At a minimum, appreciate your boss’s:
• goals and pressures,
• strengths and weaknesses,
• organizational and personal objectives,
• their pressures, especially those from their own boss and others at the same level,
• preferences and blind spots,
• personal situations, particularly any significant disruptions like a broken-down relationship,
• preferred style of working,
• preference for information (memos, formal meetings, or phone calls),
• capacity for conflict (do they thrive on it or try to minimize it?),
• preference for control (do they delegate and leave you or constantly need detail?)
Without this information an executive is flying blind when dealing with their boss. Unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, and problems are inevitable.